Ten thoughts on self-acceptance

Self-acceptance doesn’t land in our world overnight, it is something that takes practice and something that we can build up a little bit by a little bit
I see it as a combination of compassion and awareness for ourselves. I would often think of what I felt for myself was self-love, but actually, it was closer to pity, which is what can happen when we have compassion without awareness. If we have the awareness without compassion, we can end up blaming ourselves or being the victim.
I do gently remind clients that no one gets through the healing journey by beating themselves up. We want to provide that space for ourselves, so that we can build the foundations and that base for who we are and from where we want to be.
When we don’t accept who we are and love ourselves as that person, we can be far more affected by what others are saying or their actions.
In my workshop, ‘you are not your thoughts,’ I sometimes share the story of the workshop I went to years ago where the facilitator gave us all a hand mirror and we had to look at ourselves in the mirror and tell ourselves that we loved ourselves, well that was definitely in my pity phase. I just bawled. I could barely look at myself, let alone say anything as crazy as that! It took a while, but pleased to report that things are quite a bit different now! How are you with looking at yourself in front of the mirror? Can you start a bit of a convo, even if it is a tiny attainable step to where you want to be?
Understanding our feelings can also help with self-acceptance. I often talk about how this is where the clues are as to what we need, therefore we are able to start taking responsibility for those needs, which can undoubtedly help with self-acceptance.
Acceptance can’t happen without love, it helps us to break down those stories and beliefs that have been built between us and our true self. How can you bring more self-love into the mix?
There is a difference between fitting in and belonging, and there is a difference between approval and acceptance. Fitting in and approval often requires us to change or show up in a certain way, and usually not as our true self. When we are able to accept ourselves we can belong anywhere and in any situation. We may choose not to head into any situation, but that’s because we are accepting of ourselves and strong in our foundations and are not prepared to be pulled this way or that.
When old stories show up, start seeing them for what they are. They are just beliefs about ourselves, they are not truths, and we can take steps to break that story reel down and build up that love and self-acceptance.
How happy are you spending time on your own? We can be so quick to fill it, even if it is scrolling or similar. The more you can build up little pockets of time that you are happy to be by yourself, you will speed up the momentum of accepting yourself.