I don’t think you can get through this time of year without a post, an article or someone asking about what your new year’s resolutions are going to be… If resolutions are not your thing, but you feel that actually, you want to put something ‘out there’ or have some sort of focus, then I hope you will find something here.
1. Whether it be a focus, a goal, a resolution or an intention, I will ask you to check in and make sure that it is actually yours. We can so often get caught up in others’ expectations of us, or expectations we put on ourselves that a little way down the line we may find it hard to motivate ourselves or wonder why we are working so hard towards something that really isn’t our focus/goal/resolution or intention.
2. One way of doing this is to connect with our values, we all have a set of core values that are important to us, that make up the core of our soul. We need our goals to align with them. If we have goals that we have started on the track towards or maybe can’t get out of them or change them, how can reframe the goal with our values in mind?
A clear example of this is how earlier in the year I wanted to move more. The goal was there, but there was just a disconnect in between. When I got my family involved we decided to virtually walk from Cape Reinga to Bluff, by measuring the distances we walked, swum, cycled and run each week and then I would put them together and suss out how far we were down the country. Suddenly exercise became something totally different. Values of community, creativity, energy, leadership, freedom were being met and my attitude towards it had changed.
3. How do you like to prepare? Simplicity is another value of mine and so goals need to be broken down. If something I am working on is complicated or has too many variables I can quite quickly lose interest. Is this important to you? Do you like to have the black and whiteness of the steps laid out in front of you? Don’t get me wrong I have values of freedom and curiosity as well, so I am not rigid in keeping to that steps, but I like to have a map to deviate from!
4. So if I know that complicated steps and processes don’t work for me, what else do you know doesn’t work for you? Along with this, what has been your go-to excuses in the past? They tend to stick around, I don’t know, too tired, not well, not enough money or not enough time. This is not about beating ourselves up, it’s simply awareness of when some of those thoughts come in to our head again, so we can spot them and decide whether we are going to allow them to take over and potentially sabotage our efforts.
5. Along with that, what are other thoughts about yourself, others, the wider community, the world that may be running at the moment. I call this our red zone story reel, and crikey it can shout loud at times, and be incessantly repetitive at times too. Again, awareness is key here, and spotting those thoughts as they come in is the first step. Starting to break them down and replacing them is the next.
6. If you have been following my journey for a while you may have noticed me talk about tiny steps. A big goal can be daunting, so what are the small steps that it can be broken down to. A client once shared about the promotion he wanted to get when his boss retired in five years time. We talked about what he would need to be considered for the role, and then what some first steps would be. With long-term goals, it can be hard to keep the focus and motivation, so those small steps can keep us working towards it, but also getting the feeling of accomplishment and hits of dopamine along the way.
7. When speaking to this client we also touched on what else can be happening in the mix that will support our journey towards this goal. For this client, it was around stepping out of his comfort zone and into a leadership role, and so we talked about taking those courageous steps as often as we can, however, however small.
8. Change takes energy. We may have become super used to ways of doing things, it may be uncomfortable but it is familiar and easy. Choosing a different response, a different action, a different path takes energy. When we are wanting to make a change and achieve goals it is going to require energy in the tanks. Where are yours at currently? Regular top-ups are required to keep us replenished for whatever we are up to!
9. Accountability doesn’t always sit with me. My thoughts around this are that if it is your goal, it aligns with your values and are motivated to achieve it, then I ask why would you need someone to buddy up with? However! If you have values around belonging, community, friendship, fun, connection, then absolutely who have you got around you that you can share this journey with. May look the same, but there is a subtle difference behind the intention.
10. Are you celebrating enough? Celebrate the wins, those tiny steps, the achievements along the way. It helps break down our negative red zone story reel, and provides more evidence along the way that we are moving forward and making progress!
