I often hear that people believe life coaching is all about goals, and sure goals can play a part in the journey that we take, but it certainly isn’t the whole journey. We can sit and set goals till the cows come home, but if the goals aren’t aligned with who we are or if we have some blocks or limiting beliefs in place, then it is going to be hard, if not impossible to achieve them.

We can then be very quick to beat ourselves up, compare ourselves with others or even compare ourselves to a past version of ourselves. That deadly disease of Comparisonitis, which can often be the cause of triggering an ‘I’m not good enough’/failure belief.

When we are constantly comparing ourselves or striving for goals that are not ours, we can be living in that place of fear.

Not feeling enough and not feeling a success are very closely linked, and often we can feel that our enoughness is dependent on trying to achieve, to constantly be doing, being busy. So much language around goals is about striving, driving, killing it, smashing targets, winning, being the best… This can be around relationships, career, size of house/car/boat, money in the bank.

When having conversations about limiting beliefs and what success is we get talking about success being where we are showing up as our true selves. That we have ‘made it’ when we have made it home, home to our authentic self, and when we start to feel and understand what that looks like.

We get talking about different ways of measuring success, and there are many…

What if it was measured by how we can connect back to ourselves when we are triggered, how we are able to use tools and ways to come back time and time again, to that light, our essence, that person we were put on the planet to be…

What if alignment and success is about reflecting on your day and seeing just how it filled your cup.

What if it is measured in quality moments with a loved one, a child, a friend. Measured by just how deep that belly laugh was or how GOOD that hug felt.

What if success is measured by how often your lungs feel like you have breathing space and your heart feels at ease.

What if success is reducing alcohol intake, drug intake, time on social media?

What if success is about reducing people pleasing patterns or putting boundaries in place?

What if it is measured by those moments when you find yourself saying YES to life, to catchups, to the theatre, to a road trip, a day out on the water.

What if success is measured by acts of kindness, connecting with people, being an enoughness ally?

What if success is measured by courageous moments, whether it be a small one or a jumping out of a plane type one, or a going to a workshop on your own type one.

What if success is measured simply by the fact you are here today, or the days you managed to shower, managed to eat breakfast?

What if success is measured by the wholesome effect of our ripple?

What if success is measured by managing to book appointments, ask for help, get to appointments?

What if success is measured in the number of times each day we paused and made a conscious choice or decision and chose the potentially harder but kinder action for our true self…

What if success is about being aware of our negative self talk and compassionately bringing in some more loving alternatives…

What if success is measured by how you give yourself permission to live, to truly live.

Then we can set goals accordingly. Goals that are aligned with who we are AND meet ourselves where we are at, at that time. Then the ball starts rolling, we get evidence for our cheerleaders rather than our gremlins, we remember what it is like to feel a sense of accomplishment, a dopamine hit, progress.

If we are living a life true to ourselves, that is when the magic starts to happen, things seem to flow more.

Often it is then that we can find ourselves moving forward in some which way.

If you are keen to find out what is important to you, how living a life more aligned can help us connect with our enoughness, here are some tips…

1 – Understanding our core values can help us understand more about what actually is important to us, and what we want to be creating goals around.

2 – Meeting ourselves where we are at – I often share about creating three columns, low, medium and high, and putting items in each column. This could be around energy levels, anxiety levels, finances, time. It means that rather than getting overwhelmed by the size of the goal, we can meet ourselves where we are at, and start with some smaller steps, actions that don’t take up so much energy for example, so we can feel some of those dopamine hits and that sense of accomplishment.

3 – Connecting with our heartspace – This allows us to have time to just be, time where we are not so much in the do, do, do of our headspace, but slowing down, being creative, playing, resting, and ultimately seeing that we are enough as we are.

4 – Who are you hanging out with? Who are the people in your world that are always wanting and expecting more of you and who are the ones that see your enoughness, remind you of it and help you connect back to it…

5 – Check out the balance of things in your life between the ones that feel heavy, shoulds and choices and the ones that excite you, inspire you, light you up. Is enough of the latter happening in your world?

Would love to hear what success means to you and am here if you want to share the journey…