1. At the beginning of the coaching journey I often support the client in uncovering their core beliefs.  Although this can feel a backwards step to future-focused life coaching, it can provide us with some great clues as to why maybe things have been how they have been for however long, why we consciously or subconsciously sabotage our plans, dreams or goals. They can help us understand why we maybe react so strongly to something someone has said or done.  

2. Often finding out their core beliefs can bring people real relief, it can help them see that they are not broken or fucked up, they have been through some stuff and have ended up with these beliefs about themselves, that form part of the red zone story reel.

3. It is this story reel that we can end up believing as our truth, that it is who we are, when actually, it is far from it.  Whatever our beliefs are, I feel most of us would agree that we come in to this world as a bundle of light and love, but that shit happens.  We witness or experiences situations that lead us to create beliefs about ourselves, those closest to us, the community and the world itself.  As we go through life, we gain evidence to back these beliefs up, so that despite them being beliefs, they end up feeling like truths.

4. You will hear and read some advice that tells you to shun and fight the red zone story reel, the inner critic, and will come up with all sorts of ways to do this.  That never sat right personally, as that story reel is a part of me, and in a journey from feeling broken to wanting to feel more whole, I want to treat all parts of me with love and compassion.

Another reason I don’t like to shun these beliefs is because they are actually trying to keep us safe.  This took me a little bit to get my head around!  Those beliefs are formed from negative situations and experiences.  Negative may be putting it lightly.  Those beliefs are warning signs from our brain that we are heading there again, and asking why would we want to do that?  Why would we want to put ourselves through that all over again?

5. This leads us to shutting down, avoiding, numbing, not even wanting or being inclined to try.  Sure it keeps us safe, but nothing changes, our world is small, we are living in GroundHog Day.

6. By actually bringing love to our beliefs and stories, we can help reassure our brain that we are safe.  We have different tools and understandings now to help us through this particular situation.  We have been practicing courage and we want to face that fear and work through it, provide evidence to the contrary so it doesn’t shout so loud.

7. As we are doing this we want to be using those tiny steps.  Not only can this feel less daunting, but the more tiny steps we can achieve, the more evidence we can gain that disproves our red zone story reel, that we are capable, that we do have purpose, that we are loved, that we are enough, whatever it is, we can start to build this up.  Tiny steps mean we have so many opportunities during the day to use for healing. 

8. Along with the compassion comes forgiveness, that actually we were doing the best we could with what we had and what we knew at the time.  

9. It is not about blaming, blaming those who were a part of the situations that the beliefs came from.  We can’t change the past, what we have power over is how we respond to it, and that is key here.  We may have already healed a relationship or forgiven someone for what happened, however sometimes those beliefs have been formed like a scar and need attention and awareness around.

10. We can repeat patterns over and over again, some are ones we have created ourselves, others will be ones that we have witnessed from others, have grown up around, or been subjected to.  It is understandable that we would pick up these beliefs, patterns, stories, views of the world, but when we are able to connect back to our true self, we start getting awareness of what is going on and we can put some distance between ourselves and whatever it might be, and that is where the forgiveness and subsequent healing can begin.