I have had some comments said to me recently “how come you are always so happy?” “What do you mean you were in your shame space?” “I’m envious of your life.”
I often say I wish I could do a reality tv show type piece and show the ups and downs that I experience.
Oh look. Next minute!
One of those down times comes along. Just this morning! So I am sharing it with you to reassure you that I am human too, that despite the journey I have been on, the healing that has happened to date, I still get triggered, upset, sob. The key is how often we spiral, how long we stay there and how deep we go. That is what changes…
This was this how it rolled today.
I was up early and could feel there were some emotions brewing. I was feeling a mixture, but probably the loudest were overwhelm and shame. A few things had contributed to these feelings and the tears started to fall.
I let them fall, made myself a cup of tea and some breakfast, and was reflecting on what was going on.
I could see it was one of those moments of choice. One where I could allow myself to be pulled away from my true self and the path I wanted to be on, or the other option being where I could hold space for myself and explore what I needed in that moment. So I checked in.
My Mind, skipped to the front of the queue, with its request to get cracking and get on with the tasks that it argued would reduce the overwhelm. Heart was feeling very tender. Soul was shaking its head, and then Body had a flash of inspiration….
And I think this is one of the things I’m reminded of again and again…
It’s not that tough moments won’t come. It’s not that we’ll never feel wobbly, triggered, emotional, disconnected or doubt ourselves.
It’s what we do in those moments that matters.
It’s whether we abandon ourselves there… or whether we stay.
Whether we let the spiral dictate how we shoe up… or whether we gently come back to ourselves and ask, “What do I need right now?”
Back to the Check-In – Body got Mind to look up what time The Women Dippers were swimming that morning. A group I had heard a lot about over the years(!), but having got my confidence back in the water over the Summer, had finally taken the first step to join the messenger chat!
Yes, someone had put up that they would be swimming at 730am. I had 15 minutes, I could do it!
Sure Mind tried one last time, but it was quickly outvoted, there was energy to be shifted and some connection to be made to get me out of my shame space!
As I drove down to the water, even Body had a little wobble as the waves were big, but met up with the women, no dilly, dally, we were heading down the beach towards the water!
Oh my goodness. So good. So good!
Choosing something different. Trying something new. Being in the water. Making something different happen.
So many happy hormones! The endorphins from the exhilaration and release of the buffeting! The dopamine from making it happen! The oxytocin from the connection with the women, and the serotonin from being out in nature and the fresh air!
I was like, “Yes, this is it. This is what life is about!”
When we’re in that tricky spot and we make a different choice.
About forty-five minutes later, I was back at home warming up, kettle on!
If I hadn’t gone, I could well have been still sat in that same spot. Maybe I would have spiralled a bit more. Maybe I would have tried to work over the top of the emotions to try and get some stuff ticked off. Neither would have been what was actually needed.
Instead I got to experience all of that (and the ripple effect of that swim) and I felt in such a different place.
Sometimes the shift comes from choosing differently in a moment, from interrupting the pattern, from staying connected to yourself long enough to hear what’s actually needed.
From creating safety within yourself instead of waiting for life to feel perfectly safe before taking a step, rom meeting yourself with honesty instead of criticism, from choosing a response that supports the person you want to be. The person you were put here to be.
That’s the journey, the practice, that’s what changes things.
It’s what I teach through Loving Yourself With Wild Abandon.
Because loving with wild abandon isn’t about being wreckless. It’s not even about dancing naked in the forest! (That can come after!) It isn’t airy fairy with no grounding. It isn’t about hoping love, life, or confidence will land once everything outside of you falls into place.
It’s about becoming the one who can hold yourself in the hard moments, who knows how to come back to yourself. Who can honour what you feel without letting it run the whole show. Who builds a relationship with yourself that is steady, loving, honest and courageous.
I share seven foundations I believe change everything when it comes to how we love, how we relate, how we move through hard moments and how we stop abandoning ourselves when we most need our own care.
If you’ve been lacking direction, or have noticed old patterns showing up… If you want to feel more anchored, more loving, more whole in the way you move through life and relationships…
Why not book a call or drop me an email and let’s see what some next steps could be for you.
So alongside,
Liz
The ‘Reality TV’ Version can be found on Insta!
