My sister-in-law sent us a copy of my youngest niece’s school report. It was a beautiful read, and I read it a number of times. What struck me was firstly how the teacher writing it had a holistic approach to the report, but also how many words were in there that bring me joy too – fun, independence, curious, explore, making friends, trying different craft activities, sorting activities (I LOVE TO SORT!), freedom, books and enjoys stories.
Those words are often ones that I use to either describe myself or the things that I enjoy doing. It got me thinking about the person we were put on this planet to be, and how sometimes life gets in the way and we get pulled away from our true self as we start believing that we are a certain way, or we spend time trying to fit in, or ticking society’s boxes, or whatever else we feel we ‘should’ be doing.
But what if we went back and thought about our younger years, what were those things that brought us joy then? What were the attributes that teachers saw in us? What were the compliments that friends’ mums passed on when we got picked up? What did we daydream about, what did we play with when we were younger, where did our imagination take us?
I fully understand and appreciate not everyone will have had a rosy ride, and trying to recall some of these answers could be hard for some. If that is the case, maybe think with what I know now, what would I have appreciated back then, what would have made a difference to my childhood, what did I wish I could do, what did I want to be part of?
Having seen my niece’s report, I wondered what my reports had said about me, and whether they aligned who how I show up today. Of course the Universe moves in its wonderful ways and when sorting(!) a few days later, I came across some of mine, here were some of the comments that I feel ring true to the truest version of me today.
“Elizabeth is interested in classroom conversations and discussions and always contributes to them.” – Age 3
“Elizabeth has found the noise and bustle in the main building a little difficult to cope with. She plays happily in the classroom with the less rowdy elements of the class.” – Age 4
“She listens attentively at storytime.” – Age 4
“always willing to help other people.” – Age 4
“Elizabeth writes very interesting news.” – Age 5
“Elizabeth produces some interesting paintings.” – Age 5
“always listens carefully.” – Age 5
“an enthusiastic reader. She reads with expression and understanding. She often reads stories to her classmates.” – Age 6
“willing to share her ideas” – age 6
“Elizabeth has a serious attitude towards her work.” – Age 6
“A good rhythmic sense and an original musical response.” – Ballet exam Age 7
“We must work hard together on her ‘jumping technique’ next season.” – Age 9 This made me chuckle, goes on to say “A helpful, polite pupil.”
“She is a willing and reliable helper with a delightful sense of humour.” – Age 9
“Most of the credit for the composition of one of the carols in 2A’s Christmas medley must go to Elizabeth.” Age 10 – Think that was the words, not the music!
“Cheerful, courteous and dependable” – Age 10
“She enjoys applying skills to solve a problem and is good at doing so.” – Age 11
“A carer for ‘littler’ beings.” – Age 11
“House Captain Extraordinary” – Age 11
“She has very obvious qualities of leadership, is able to take initiative and act appropriately.” – Age 11
“A force for good among her peers.” – Age 11.
For me this shows the love of words, whether that be writing, reading, poetry/song lyrics, the love of a good discussion and conversation, the need, as an empath, for quiet space, my ability to listen, to look out for those that may be struggling, leadership, to help people, be reliable, as well as the fun side of me, the love of movement and creativity.
I am pleased to say my handwriting has improved a lot, but sadly I did not pursue the descant recorder, so I was not able to improve my “fluency and finer tone!” I remember one year I was really struggling with the Handwriting Competition, attempt after attempt to make it as tidy as possible, finally, I handed one to my teacher that I was happy to submit, sadly, totally unaware that the shapes that I had decorated the border with were swastikas!
Anyhoo….
Have a think, if things aren’t flowing or feeling aligned for you right now, what clues to your true self were showing up in early years? It is not all going to be about the academic side of life, you may have been interested or resonated strongly with activities or ideas outside of school; what were the subjects or activities you wanted to do and participate but weren’t allowed to, where did you lose track of time, what were you doing when you felt happiest, when you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up….
What are the clues you are getting towards finding out more about your authentic self? What are you finding out about the person you were put on this planet to be….