A couple of weeks ago I was on a webinar and we were guided through a simple exercise.
What do you want?
And then…
What’s the need underneath that?
As it was around Valentine’s it didn’t surprise me that ‘relationship’ appeared on the list. Being just before Valentine’s I thought, okay let’s run that through the process!
When the presenter gave examples, she said, “If you wrote relationship, the need underneath is probably love.”
I looked down at my page and laughed.
Because I hadn’t written love.
I’d written support.
It was a quiet, hmmm… this is interesting, because I no longer feel flawed, wrong, broken, unloveable. There is a lot of love in my world, but there is also a lot happening in this world of mine!
Later, in my journaling, I took this through the Inside-Out Way, specifically tuning in to my heart and asking what comes up when I think about stepping up in my business.
My heart asked
Will growth in my business mean more responsibility?
Will that mean more to do?
Will it all be down to me to do?
Ah, there it was…
It became clear this wasn’t about relationships at all, not because I don’t value them, but because this particular need had nothing to do with romance.
It wasn’t a neediness or desperation, just a desire not to do life and business alone. It was a valid concern from the heart about building something bigger without increasing the support.
The desire was for ease, better systems, for people alongside that could help.
Through the journaling, I came to see that the need for support didn’t actually need to look like a relationship. It looked like practical, hands-on business support. It looked like coming back to my core value of simplicity.
The shift for me was:-
When we misunderstand the need, we chase the wrong solution.
When we get clear on the need, we can take practical steps.
For me, that looked like investing in tools that make my work easier.
Creating systems that support me.
Letting things be simpler.
So I chuckled as I pulled out my bankcard and bought a teleprompter!
A small thing, but a practical way of saying there are things right now I can influence, there are steps I can take to make life easier.
I don’t have to do everything the hard way!
And that’s what I love about the Inside-Out Way.
When we go within and meet ourselves honestly, we get to find out the real need, which means we get to stop projecting it outward.
We get to meet it compassionately and respond accordingly.
Sometimes what we think we want is simply pointing us toward what we actually need and what would truly support us.
And for me, that feels like finding home within.
