If Google has its most searched for words, then I think breathing would possibly be my most consciously thought thought, my most talked about process and my most actioned tool this year.
It has played a big part in my healing journey this year…
I feel I still have work to do on my day to day breathing, but my focus this year seems to have been using breathing to calm the nervous system. When I have been in that place of shame that I have spoken about recently, when I am stepping out my comfort zone and feeling nervous or anxious, when I am feeling overwhelmed or similar, focusing on my breathing to make the exhale longer has really helped to calm the nervous system. At which point we can bring in affirmations or kind self-talk far more successfully…
StoryTime – I went to open my new packet of bagels on Monday, acknowledging myself for the fact that I had thought ahead, the day before, to my future self that morning who does enjoy her bagels, however I noticed a chunk had been eaten out of the top one.
I paused for a moment wondering if it was just something that could have happened in the baking process, but then saw the hole in the bag too… Confirmation of my fear the previous night. There was a mouse in the house. I say house, but my home is a wee cosy little place, but I like the rhyme. I did not like the fact I had a visitor.
Thankfully I had emergency bagels in the freezer (ones that I had tried and weren’t overly keen on) that I had kept for such a time. I have tried many different breakfasts and came to find that a bagel is the one breakfast that will keep me going through till lunchtime, not needing a snack or something along the way, oh and they make me happy!
Anyhoo, I actually had two emergency bagels in the freezer, so it wasn’t until a couple of days later, when I had got some a fresh bag, that I was just tucking in to bed, when I heard a rustle….
I immediately froze and waited for confirmation. It took a while, but yup, there it was again, and I knew in an instant exactly where it was coming from…
My handbag.
I went in to the lounge, turned all the lights on and listened to the silence for a few minutes. The only thing I could hear was the absolute pounding of my heart and my breathing being much faster than it was just a wee while before when I was heading to bed!
I have a theory that if I practice the tools, such as breathing in different areas, situations and suchlike, then it will all help when I need to step out my comfort zone in some way.
So I come up with a plan. I live on my own, so no backup! If an intervention was going to happen it was down to me…
The front door was open with a watchful eye to ensure none of its mates were coming in for their share, yes I have seen one once literally waltz up the front path before… Yes, waltzing.
My handbag was on the sofa approximately a metre and a half from the front door. ‘All’ I had to do was just pick up my handbag and whoosh it out the front door, bagels, mouse and all and I would be blessed with a good night’s sleep.
Oh the thought processes that followed…
“You can do it, then we can go back to bed!”
“If you’d just done it, it would have been over by now.”
“Come on, you don’t want to miss this opportunity…”
“You’ll be gutted if the mouse runs out your handbag and hides somewhere else in the lounge…”
“Maybe I could use this method for any mice in the future…”
“Can we please focus, you could have done it ten times over by now…”
Trust me this is the nutshell version! Then…
“This is a chance to focus on your breathing which will help you heal the shame and will also help you with your public speaking.”
Yes, I seemed to be bringing this situation in as an ‘opportunity’! Dealing with this mouse and rescuing my bagels was a way of practicing my breathing for healing purposes!
Wow! I say wow but I think it was actually the deal cruncher! Focused on my breathing, making the exhale longer, and I could feel that I was coming back to the situation, was feeling more confident and convinced that I could do this, and in a flash…
CLUNK!
My handbag was flung outside the front door complete with the mouse, the bagels and my ipad! Doh! Had forgotten about that part! Thankfully the ipad, and possibly by this point more importantly, the bagels, came out unscathed, and yes, there darted the mouse to freedom, hungry but free…
And I got to sleep easy that night and enjoy an unscathed bagel in the morning…
Whether we use breathing to get us out of a shame space, a nervous space, to calm a fear, to get us ready to do a talk or presentation, or to help us respond in a different way when someone has triggered us, I have found breathing in this way, really does make a massive difference to my world. It helps me bring my brain and logic back online and be able to navigate whatever it is, including unwelcome little visitors!
