The theme of connection has been coming up in my world a fair bit in conversations as well as in coaching sessions and groups.
I was recently at an event where we were asked what our big dream was. Mine was that “every person knows that they absolutely belong in this world.”
I feel that underneath belonging there are those beautiful threads of connection, not just with others but with ourselves and the world around us. Here are five thoughts around connection that have been percolating:
Expectations – Are we asking people to connect and communicate with us in ways they are not able to or are not confident to. There have been some conversations around intimate partnerships and unmet needs and we have talked through what could be some different ways to approach these. Knowing the love languages that we use to receive and give love can be really helpful, yes in intimate relationships, but also in friendships, between employer and employee, between parent and child and more.
Our inner child – The part within all of us that holds our creativity, our fun, our play. There was a tustle between my inner adult and inner child just today about some plans, and were we really going to turn down an invitation with some friends for something that we love doing (inner child’s needs) to do some adulting and get some stuff off the to-do list… Hmmmm…
Authentic self – Another theme recently, in fact a theme that comes up often are the times we can get really lost, really disconnected from our true self. Life happens, old stories and patterns play out, and we can be showing up in a way that is a far cry from our true self. It is not about beating ourselves up in this time, it is about having awareness of what has happened and then taking the steps back to our core, our true self. Knowing our core values can really help with this.
Belonging – What I wished and wish for in my big dream. That every person knows and feels that they belong in this world. It has been a massive part of my journey around finding that sense of connection, and the more conversations I have around it, the more I am hearing from those that are just not sure where they fit in, and what we are really looking for is where we belong. Fitting in is where we need to change who we are to be welcome at the metaphorical table, and belonging is that feeling where we can just come exactly as we are and we are welcome and accepted. The steps that we can take to find our belonging, can be found in this new e-book.
Gaining evidence – What are we looking for? How we are disconnected or can we be focusing on who and what we are connected to. What I love about connection is that we are not reliant on others to meet that need for us, that we can make those steps to connect. It doesn’t have to be with people, there are many different ways to get that need met. Saying that, I went to watch the All Blacks quarter final last weekend at a venue where I used to know a fair few people, but hadn’t been for a while. I thought about this and realised I was actually okay if I didn’t know anyone, I wanted to watch the game and I wanted to be around people, both of those requests and needs would have been met whether I knew the people or not!
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